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Real Name: NisiOptimum
Member Since: March 9th, 2010
It might sound impossible to anyone living in the year 2017, but once upon a time, there was a thing called a 'slow news day.'
We can say with some certainty that the federal government is not, in fact, a front for the lizard people.
The internet is an engine producing a constant supply of shared insanity.
It feels like the world is on fire sometimes, doesn't it? We're about to make everything so, so much worse.
Sometimes you stumble upon a mystery and set about investigating, only to find that every aspect is weirder than the last. It's like if at the end of a Scooby-Doo episode, Velma tore off the monster's mask and saw her own face staring back.
We're pretty certain that horror movies have been based off of the Virgin Mary's genitals.
Turns out you never know who's selling you that bottle of Evan green label.
More often than you'd think, circumstances conspire to put the fate of the world into the hands of people you wouldn't trust with a Risk board.
Occasionally the government will put forth a plot so insane that even the most hardened Bond villain would ask them if everything is all right at home
All too often, agents are subject to the same human failings as the rest of us, except in their case, the blunders result in international incidents more embarrassing than your high school yearbook.