"The Holidays" Round One is over and now you're slumped back at your desk, picking marshmallows off a glob of leftover yam casserole.
This is a time to reflect and appreciate the ones who really matter: the human and animal companions who somehow tolerate your nonsense and make your wretched time on this crumbling planet marginally bearable. You owe these fantastic creatures. Blow some quality cash on them this season. May we suggest:
1FOR YOUR PALS
The Star Wars Freak
Alamo Draft House is offering exclusive Last Jedi glassware with ticket pre-sales. And any Star Wars fan worth a decicred has already lost their mind after spotting Luke on the Dark Side design. So forget the Porgs and go with the evil flow by giving our curated "Wake & Choke" gift bundle! Arising to the annoying beeps of this LEGO Darth Vader Alarm Clock, your pal can slip on a set of Darth Vader Oven Gloves to begin a day of galactic shit-stirring. Throw in this Jedi Master Bathrobe so they can later contemplate that maybe following in the footsteps of a guy whose legs got chopped off and tossed in a lava river is a dumbass plan.